Overtiredness, I loathe thee

What a weekend. Filled with wedding wonderfulness, family pride and only a touch of drama. We are all exhausted and looking forward to hitting the hay early tonight. I'll post wedding photos as I get them, but will keep it short and say that Mary and Brian's wedding was absolutely, hands-down, one of the best weddings I have even been to, and with such a huge family, I've been to quite a few.  Mary and Brian were perfect, the ceremony was personal and touching, the reception was beyond fun. All in all, the best way to celebrate my baby sister and new brother-in-law.  Hen & Kitty did very well and, again with the super big family and wealth of friends had plenty of eyes watching them and arms to hold them. They were surrounded by love and attention, which is something that fills Mike and I with joy (and appreciation, given that we were both a part of the wedding party).

The day after "the big day" is also quite important. It is the time to power down. Post-wedding exhaustion sets in differently for everyone. Some get cranky and snappy, others become giddy and punchy, many just disconnect and retreat to the couch. In the last sixty minutes, Henry has circled through all of these versions of overtiredness at least once.

First he was pleasant and low-key, playing "cut the rope" with me as we laid on the couch. Quickly, however, he moved on to giddy and punchy, as he forced me into a game of hide-and-go-seek by aggressively throwing blankets and pillows on top of me. As I ducked and took cover, politely explaining that I couldn't play "at this moment" but would in a bit, he ventured into cranky and snappy. Cranky and snappy is absolutely the worst phase of all. Hen had a freak-out, hitting-fest melt-down, I was on the receiving end. Dramatic screams, sweaty red face, flailing arms/fists/legs/feet, I had to be on my a-game to make sure that I didn't get a blow to the stomach as I quickly wrestled him into time-out.

This is absolutely NOT the ideal when it comes to discipline. I know this. There should be conversation, there should be plenty of warning before the time out, there should be multiple attempts to de-escalate, in short, there should be calmness and thought put into discipline. In overtired mode, however, there is none of this. There is only frustration, disorientation and the near-impossible task of suppressing the scream that is building up inside of you. In that moment, the most important thing to remember is also the most difficult: You are the adult, so act like it.

Thirty minutes later, after a time-out/meltdown/time-out/meltdown/time-out/meltdown series, Henry finally calmed down and listened. He stopped hitting/kicking us and through conversation, we came to a place of understanding. That is not an easy place to occupy with a three-year-old boy. To acknowledge that peaceful, rare moment, I allowed Hen to do something that he has been asking to do for quite some time, something that I have never had the patience or confidence in him to allow.

He did my eye makeup.

Giddy/punchy

2 seconds later: disconnect & retreat

He obviously really took advantage of this moment and didn't limit himself to my eyes, but included my forehead, cheeks and chin. I've always felt that eye makeup is underutilized--too fun to be limited to ONE part of your face--and I have such a great appreciation for that fashion-forward avant-garde look, so of course I loved the end result.

Luckily, there are not too many of those exaggerated, emotional discipline "battles", but when they do occur, Mike and I do manage to remember one parenting "must do". We always take time, after the lesson has been learned, to connect in a positive, nurturing way with our independent little boy.  To reassure him of the fact that while we may feel unhappy with some of the choices he makes, we could not possibly love anything more than we love him, his sister, each other--our little family.

March 29: "Working from Home"

I am really lucky.  I try hard not to forget that.  Of course, a statement like "I am really lucky" is pretty general, and could apply to many different aspects of life.  Today, however, I'm using it in reference to work and motherhood.

This morning I woke up late.  6:20am to be exact. Do you know what 6:20am looks like?  It's so late in the morning that the SUN is almost out!  Glorious 6:20am, I would kiss you if I could.  So I woke up, careful to be quiet, rolling out of bed and stepping gingerly towards the bathroom.   I got ready for work, let the dogs outside and caffeinated myself without even a rustle or peep from my sleeping babes.  Hmm.  Suspicious.

I am never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I continued--watched CNN, caf-ed up again, and let the dogs back inside.  Still, no babes.  Eventually, FINALLY, the kitten meowed.  I jumped up (not kidding about that) and "got my mom on".  Diap, wipe and clothing change, a sufficient amount of noise made by both Alice and I...and still no Henry?!  Of course, the crazy person in me stalked into Hen's room and hovered over him to make sure he was still breathing.  Breathing--check!  Waking?--no!  Fast-forward to 8am: Hen awakes, drowsy sweet smile, bags under his eyes and a cough like an octogenarian who has smoked a pack a day for the past 60 years.  Ugh.  Damn you germs!

And the morning routine of the sick child begins:
1. Email work with apologetic "I won't be there today..." message hoping that there is minimal eye-rolling.  Respond graciously to kind coworkers who respond immediately, wishing your child well.
2. Call Pediatrician (busy signal), continue to manically dial pediatrician like some crazed ex-girlfriend until there is finally a ring, then sit on hold for ungodly amount of time while wrestling older child away from...well...everything.
3. Call daycare and leave voice mail, sound exhausted and almost peeved, and then immediately sorry for sounding peeved about having to care for your own sick kids (hope that daycare providers don't mark you as worst mom in the world).
4. Spend a moment questioning if your kid is ACTUALLY sick, or just faking, and then feel massive amounts of mom-guilt when he doubles over in fits of coughing.

Oh, it's fun alright!  In all of this, the most curious bit to me is the "working from home" email.  I work with some hardcore, dedicated workaholics.  I do my best to keep up, and since I genuinely enjoy what I do, it's not difficult to become consumed by work.  However, I always wonder what "work from home" looks like for other people.  I was thinking about this today as I responded to work emails, so I opened photobooth and took a series of snapshots of my own "work from home" moment.

This is my favorite.  It looks like I'm reading the top portion of the email while Alice is covering the bottom.  We'll meet in the middle and update each other.

To my original point--I'm darn lucky to have coworkers who understand when I have to work from home with sick kids.  Thank you admissions!

March 23: She's so-o Vain...

 ...she probably thinks this post about her! :)

Little kitten loves looking at herself in the mirror.  She'll be laying there, idly, and then all of a sudden we'll introduce a mirror (full length, turned on its side on the ground) and she will literally perk right now.  She stretches that neck of hers--possibly the only time that we'd ever even get a glimpse of her neck--and coos at her reflection (sidenote: you have no idea how stinky that neck crevice gets...yucksies).  Last night, as the night before, Alice didn't go to sleep until waaay past bed time (10pm she was finally out) which means that she sleeps in until about 1 minute before we have to leave for daycare.  Result: I don't get any morning time with my baby, and it just kills me.  I'm making the most of our nights together now before I eventually try to work her back to her regular schedule.  It's tiring (early morning with Henry, later nights with Alice) but it's totally worth it.

March 7 & 8: Catching up

I've been running behind here ever since Saturday!  Here are a few photos from the past few days to make amends for the delays.  I think I'm just trying my best to focus all of my energy on Alice and our time together.

First--after posting the photo of Alice's pony yesterday, I realized that what is far more amusing is Alice's face when she catches sight of her little friend.  

Do you honestly get this happy about anything??  Look at that face.  What a funny little kitten.

Also from the weekend: Fireman Henry

Check out that suit.  That is business, my friends.  A Christmas present from Grandma & Grandpa Pete, this thing is legit (except for that whole "flammable" part...yeah, not supposed to stand near open fire in these duds).  Hen is extremely proud to don the uniform and has insisted upon wearing this out to the store.   Who could argue with that?  A fully-uniformed firefighter?  I'll tell you what, those Target employees have never felt so safe.

Last night--Hope Station board development meeting and tonight, Youth Leadership Committee meeting.  I'm slowly working back into the grind, and I guess I feel alright about it.

March 6: Betting on the Philly

 

This is one of Alice's favorite things.  The old racetrack sign that hangs in the playroom.  She'll catch sight of it and get this huge grin on her face, laughing and cooing while staring at her pretty horse.   We have so much time to spend together, that I almost take these moments for granted.  In a week, I'll go back to work and will miss our days together.  I feel fine about it, until I start talking or writing about the inevitable end of maternity leave.  So, with that said, I'm not going to speak of it again, just await its arrival, and enjoy these last few days with my daughter.

February 27: Feelings

This picture illustrates how I feel about not having a working camera, especially just one month after committing to a year-long project involving said camera.  Universe, why are you working against me?

I was going to post this whole bit on how Henry has been talking about his feelings lately, and how he quickly realized that if he said "I feel saaaad", I would be at his side in two shakes of a lamb's tail, patting his hair, kissing his cheeks and saying "What's wrong my sweetpea??  Tell me why you are sad."  Almost every time, he'd pause, think about it for a while, and respond with the seemingly foolproof "...because I'n sick."  He's doing that whole bit right now, and since I'm scattered today and not feeling like playing the game, I'm totally ignoring it.  Bad parent?  I hope not.  Tired parent?   Yes, indeed, even after a two hour nap yesterday.  There is just never enough time in the day, and I'm not even back to work yet.

February 11: I lurve you, you know, I loave you...

Annie Hall...what a classic. February is such a good movie month. Not only do you have so many fun, romantic, quirky films about love (especially the ones by Woody Allen...can't get enough of those), but it's awards season, which means dozens of past Oscar winners for your viewing pleasure.

Shifting gears--in the spirit of yesterday's post, here are a few shots of my mantle, ready for V-Day. I don't typically decorate the house for this holiday, because I usually forget all about it, but this year, since I'm home, it seems like I'm bombarded with reminders. If I weren't on maternity leave, I'd be working late into the night and every weekend getting applications read, re-read, checked, checked again, cut, bumped up, merit-aid awarded, committee-d...etc. etc. etc. This year would have been especially taxing given that Dson is up significantly in app numbers. I'm really proud of this, since I know that building the applicant pool doesn't start in app season, but, rather, with counselor outreach efforts, on-campus programs, interviews, info sessions, high school visits beginning when these kids are in their junior year (a long process). Still, I feel like I can't take ownership for this impressive pool since I'm not the one making the final decisions. I'll get over it, and I'll stop worrying about work so much. Right now there is really nothing better than being at home with my little baby. March, April and May will be busy enough with a 3/4/5 month old, a 3-year-old, a husband who works 50 minutes from home and is in class 2 nights a week and my own responsibilities at work (which will still require night and weekend work).

I can hear Henry and Mike making breakfast in the kitchen while Alice "talks" away in her little bouncy seat. Weekend mornings are my favorite, and I'm going to go enjoy this one with all of my funny valentines.