Overtiredness, I loathe thee

What a weekend. Filled with wedding wonderfulness, family pride and only a touch of drama. We are all exhausted and looking forward to hitting the hay early tonight. I'll post wedding photos as I get them, but will keep it short and say that Mary and Brian's wedding was absolutely, hands-down, one of the best weddings I have even been to, and with such a huge family, I've been to quite a few.  Mary and Brian were perfect, the ceremony was personal and touching, the reception was beyond fun. All in all, the best way to celebrate my baby sister and new brother-in-law.  Hen & Kitty did very well and, again with the super big family and wealth of friends had plenty of eyes watching them and arms to hold them. They were surrounded by love and attention, which is something that fills Mike and I with joy (and appreciation, given that we were both a part of the wedding party).

The day after "the big day" is also quite important. It is the time to power down. Post-wedding exhaustion sets in differently for everyone. Some get cranky and snappy, others become giddy and punchy, many just disconnect and retreat to the couch. In the last sixty minutes, Henry has circled through all of these versions of overtiredness at least once.

First he was pleasant and low-key, playing "cut the rope" with me as we laid on the couch. Quickly, however, he moved on to giddy and punchy, as he forced me into a game of hide-and-go-seek by aggressively throwing blankets and pillows on top of me. As I ducked and took cover, politely explaining that I couldn't play "at this moment" but would in a bit, he ventured into cranky and snappy. Cranky and snappy is absolutely the worst phase of all. Hen had a freak-out, hitting-fest melt-down, I was on the receiving end. Dramatic screams, sweaty red face, flailing arms/fists/legs/feet, I had to be on my a-game to make sure that I didn't get a blow to the stomach as I quickly wrestled him into time-out.

This is absolutely NOT the ideal when it comes to discipline. I know this. There should be conversation, there should be plenty of warning before the time out, there should be multiple attempts to de-escalate, in short, there should be calmness and thought put into discipline. In overtired mode, however, there is none of this. There is only frustration, disorientation and the near-impossible task of suppressing the scream that is building up inside of you. In that moment, the most important thing to remember is also the most difficult: You are the adult, so act like it.

Thirty minutes later, after a time-out/meltdown/time-out/meltdown/time-out/meltdown series, Henry finally calmed down and listened. He stopped hitting/kicking us and through conversation, we came to a place of understanding. That is not an easy place to occupy with a three-year-old boy. To acknowledge that peaceful, rare moment, I allowed Hen to do something that he has been asking to do for quite some time, something that I have never had the patience or confidence in him to allow.

He did my eye makeup.

Giddy/punchy

2 seconds later: disconnect & retreat

He obviously really took advantage of this moment and didn't limit himself to my eyes, but included my forehead, cheeks and chin. I've always felt that eye makeup is underutilized--too fun to be limited to ONE part of your face--and I have such a great appreciation for that fashion-forward avant-garde look, so of course I loved the end result.

Luckily, there are not too many of those exaggerated, emotional discipline "battles", but when they do occur, Mike and I do manage to remember one parenting "must do". We always take time, after the lesson has been learned, to connect in a positive, nurturing way with our independent little boy.  To reassure him of the fact that while we may feel unhappy with some of the choices he makes, we could not possibly love anything more than we love him, his sister, each other--our little family.